I had my first baby eight years ago this week.

At the time, I knew only one other local pregnant mom. My husband’s colleague had introduced us because we had both recently moved to the area and our due dates were only two weeks apart. After our initial introduction, we emailed each other and met up for coffee a few times. We talked about our pregnancies, our growing excitement, our fears.

At some point along the way, we learned that the hospital where we were both planning to deliver offered a weekly new mothers group, led by a nurse. We made a pact that we would go to it together, once the new baby dust had settled a bit. It seemed like a great way to make local friends and grow a support network.

My friend delivered her beautiful baby boy in late March and then two weeks and two days later, we welcomed our little guy into the world.

And my world changed forever.

When my son was 5-weeks old, my friend asked if I was ready to attend the mothers’ group.

I didn’t want to go.

I’m an introvert and if there is ever a time that introverts want to retreat it is after having a baby. Besides, I was still recovering from a pretty traumatic c-section. I was sore. I was exhausted. I was feeling super sensitive, emotional. And this baby of mine, who I loved to the moon and back again, never stopped crying. 

Still, a promise is a promise and so, together, my new friend and I packed up our babies and left the comfort of our homes. Armed with our diaper bags and nursing covers, we walked into a hospital meeting room.

And, once again, my world changed forever.

Little did I know, when I entered that room bleary-eyed and reticent, that I was walking into a room filled with my future friends.

I don’t remember my first day at all. I don’t remember the following week, either, or the one after that. I just know my friend and I attended the meetings weekly, religiously. We all did.

And together, bleary-eyed and emotionally raw, we formed our village.

We referred to our moms’ group as the momtourage. We supported one another through colic and sleepless nights, through postpartum depression and illnesses, through developmental concerns, through financial struggles… through it all. Many of us went on to have more babies and the support continued and grew.

These women are like family to me. I don’t know how I would have survived that first year without them. They have held me up as I struggled through colic, failure to thrive, toddlerhood, pregnancies with complications, and more. They have been there for me on my happiest of days and on my saddest.

I am incredibly thankful that my friend convinced me to attend the group, even when I didn’t feel up to it. I am blessed to have these women in my life eight years later.

This mothers’ group was my introduction to parent groups, and what an introduction it was! 

And My World Changed Forever: The Importance of Parent Groups

When I think back on it now, it wasn’t easy for me to attend our mothers’ group. This introvert had to rally in those early weeks. Every fiber of my being wanted to stay home.

There was some discomfort once there, too, as my baby was the one who cried endlessly. My new friends sat in a circle, new babies on blankets before them, and chatted about motherhood. I paced and bounced in the back of the room, praying that my son would settle.

On the rare occasions he let me sit, he did not stay on his blanket. Instead, he would roll across the room, like an angry little tumbleweed, until he met an obstacle. And then it would be back to shushing and pacing in the back of the room.

Before long, the mothers’ group became something that I needed as I navigated the ups and downs of this motherhood gig.

It is a pretty amazing thing to find a tribe.

I credit my momtourage for helping me become the mother I am today, and for giving this introvert the courage to create three more parent groups.

Finding a Parent Group

I would argue that all moms and dads benefit from parent groups. Parent groups help you to connect with others who share a common bond. They become part of your support network. Its members help you to realize you are never alone.

And while I think parent groups are great for all parents, I think they are essential for certain populations. Whenever you are part of a group that differs from the norm, you are at risk for feeling isolated and lonely.

Families of gifted and twice-exceptional children are one such example. When I first stumbled into homeschooling, I searched long and hard for a group of children like my son. In this post I discuss many of the resources we have found invaluable. Unfortunately, I did not find any groups locally.

Thanks to my moms’ group, I already knew how important parenting groups can be when you are on a new journey. Once we had our first year of homeschooling under our belts, I started to think about growing a local gifted group. That’s how this introvert created Granite State Gifted, a small but steadily growing community of gifted parents in NH and MA.

A few months later, Colleen and I teamed up to create Raising Poppies, an online community for parents of gifted and twice-exceptional children. Both Colleen and I had been receiving requests from our readers to create a closed Facebook group for parents of gifted learners. We decided to join forces and the results have been heart-warming. Raising Poppies has quickly grown into a vibrant community of supportive parents. It is like a breath of fresh air to step into that space. I love to start my days with Raising Poppies and I am forever thankful for each and every single member.

The third and final group I have created was not created out of necessity, but out of passion. I love books, especially children’s books. One of my favorite activities is reading aloud to my children. I created the {Virtual} Family Book Club at My Little Poppies as a space to share wonderful books and a passion for literacy. I’ve enjoyed every minute spent there and I love to select fantastic books to share with the group.

Parent Groups Can Have a Huge Impact

My mothers’ group taught me the importance of parent groups. It gave me the courage to create a local gifted community, an online family book club, and to co-found an online gifted/2e community. I had to push myself outside of my comfort zone to attend/create each and every one, but I have not regretted it for a minute.

Now, it’s your turn. Tell me: Have you found your tribe? Share here.

This post has been part of the Hoagies’ April 2016 Blog Hop: Forming Parent Groups- Sanity in Numbers. Please click the image below to keep on hoppin’!

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